


reach for the stars

by nigiyakapepper



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alfred is a human living as Adam and dated Shiro, Break Up, Closure, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Identity Reveal, Past Relationship(s), Resolution, S7E01 Spoilers, how do I even tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 14:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15391020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nigiyakapepper/pseuds/nigiyakapepper
Summary: Alfred knows a man destined for greater things when he sees one. He hasn’t been around for a little over half a millennium for him not too. But some things still wig him out, like commitment. Confronting the mistakes he’s made in a good way. Disappearing effectively for decades at a time. Marriage.Right now, Takashi, dear sweet, brilliant Takashi has quietly told him he wants a future together – training future ducklings at the Garrison, coming home to a house of their own, getting a dog, adopting kids. Alfred knows he’s gonna go far, farther than he can ever imagine. This relationship is gonna hold him back.And once marriage is on the table, Alfred wants out. He can…hit two birds with one stone right? Gosh, that sounds terrible. Let it be known that Alfred’s never made the best decisions.(aka the AU where Alfred lived as a human named Adam - dyed hair, fake tan, etc - who happened to end up dating Shiro, then breaking up with him)





	1. the fall

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to [this](https://twitter.com/Foxy_joy_/status/1020413660219441152) and [this](https://twitter.com/LUOIAE/status/1020871341124153344) and everyone who thought adam looks like america.

Alfred knows a man destined for greater things when he sees one. He hasn’t been around for a little over half a millennium for him not too.

But some things still wig him out, like commitment. Confronting the mistakes he’s made in a good way. Disappearing effectively for decades at a time. Marriage.

God, when was the last time someone talked about wanting to marry him? Fifty years ago? Turned in his two weeks notice and moved to a different state. Which was dumb, sure, but he isn’t classy about human relationships like Francis is. That sometimes it’s better not to have any at all. Davie seared that lesson into his bones early on. But Alfred loves life, and loves his people, and living among his people. He’s gonna get better at this. Someday.

Right now, Takashi, dear sweet, brilliant Takashi has quietly told him he wants a future together – training future ducklings at the Garrison, coming home to a house of their own, getting a dog, adopting kids. He’s bought them promise rings and everything, saying he’ll get a diamond once they’re receiving proper salaries.

And Alfred—Adam’s heart twists. Words can’t express his fondness for this man, ever since rooming with him during their first day as senior cadets. He couldn’t have asked for a better best friend, a better flight partner (and mind you, Alfred _knows_ flying), a better lover to be able to bear his heart to and receive Takashi’s own.

He knows he’s gonna go far, farther than Alfred can ever imagine, if he even can, because barely a couple of weeks ago, he was informed of Takashi’s illness, and suddenly things make a lot of sense. The determination (desperation?) in his training, his relentless drive to make it to the top, to overcome anything and everything before him, the way he’s a little too reckless with his body and flippant about mortality.

Doctors say he’s got a good lot of years left, barring the disease taking a turn for the worse and shortening that drastically. That doesn’t stop Takashi from feeling the urgency to fulfill his dreams before the worst happens, and Alfred understands that.

Takashi wants to do  _everything_  before the worst happens, Alfred understands too, but aches to see him burn himself through like a dying star.

This relationship is gonna hold him back. But also, once marriage is on the table, Alfred wants out. He can…hit two birds with one stone right? Gosh, that sounds terrible. He loves Takashi, probably not the same way Takashi loves him – nations are weird like that, but he loves Takashi dearly and knows he’s gotta get his own self out of the picture when the man achieves his greatness.

He’s gonna play the bad guy, he’s done that before. Push Takashi towards his dreams and not to try fulfilling everything at once because it would very well tear him apart before his body does. Reverse psychology and all that. It doesn’t take much for him to act concerned about his health, but it does hurt when he argues against Takashi working himself hard and hopes his man’s stubbornness is gonna win out over Adam’s words.

Alfred’s gut knows Takashi’s gonna overcome everything – Garrison officers with sticks up their asses, his grueling training, even his illness. Alfred doesn’t know how, but someday, after his beautiful man has reached the stars so he can go up there again, he will. He’s lived long enough to trust when the universe tells him things. Adam is the opposite.

He can turn off his feelings easy, but it’s sad to see it happen with Takashi – his exhaustion, frustration, the slow realization that something’s changed and their relationship’s crumbling.

Let it be known that Alfred’s never made the best decisions.

\- - -

They break up. The Kerberos mission happens. Pilot error happens. Alfred isn’t too incensed, because he’s been in on military coverups since the 20th century. He  _does_ get annoyed at the higher ups chalking it up to Takashi’s condition as the reason for the “crash,” like they suddenly can’t remember his skills, plus the fact is actually an  _abduction_ and the man's likely lost somewhere out there with actual aliens compels Alfred to stay and hope one of the best astro-explorers this generation’s ever seen hasn’t been lost to the stars.

Sure enough, a year later, Takashi comes back – and yes, it  _is_ aliens. In less than a day, he’s gone again, with other cadets on a piece of beautiful alien machinery that’s been lodged in the heart of the Sonoran for as long as Alfred can remember (he’s encountered a lot of weird things over the centuries. He’s learned to ignore this or roll with it.)

And that’s it, Alfred thinks, the greater mission that’s been waiting for a one Takashi Shirogane to be on. He doesn’t think he’s ever gonna know what it is. He’s just relieved he’s still alive. But yup, Alfred’s definitely overstayed his welcome. He scrubs the orange fake tan from his skin and lets his roots return to their natural color.

The President wants back one of their trusted advisers, thus, duty calls.

\- - -

Six months later, Sam Holt re-enters the Earth’s atmosphere with gigantic news and Alfred thinks, _Takashi, what the heck have you gotten yourself into?_ but he’s so proud. He’s so damn proud.

\- - -

Another six months has Alfred nervously pacing the small sitting area adjacent to the conference room where he’s about to meet the _Paladins of Voltron_ for important intergalactic peacekeeping discussions like he’s in a mecha anime, christ. Matthew is there, because the Prime Minister of Canada said so.

“I thought you always wanted to meet aliens,” he says, and raises his eyebrows when Alfred starts wringing his hands. Why is he wringing his hands? He’s handled people divulging his identity before.

(Okay, Alfred can admit he’s _really_ fond of Takashi more than anyone he’s dated in the past century, he's a big boy. He’s also had time to ruminate over the shitty way they broke up. He really doesn't know how to face him.)

“I guess…?” he tells Matthew, distracted.

“As this is a matter of great international importance, I’d like you to meet some people who’d want to work with you on this,” they overhear President Barack Obama III say in the other room. “They’re…they’re a little different,” Alfred hears amusement in his voice. “But I doubt they’re going to be the strangest beings you’ve met at this point.”

Matthew prepares to move into the next room to be introduced and looks absolutely bewildered when Alfred does a little panicked spin.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it’s just—”

“They’re the closest advisers to all nations on this planet, and their existence is well, arguably, of the utmost secrecy.”

The door opens – be cool, Alfred thinks, though he doesn’t know why, but he’s gotta be cool – and he puts on a 100 watt smile before striding into the conference room.

“Not the utmost secrecy, my good man,” he slings an arm around the President of the United States, who lets him, used to it by now. “We’ve let a lot of people know what we are now and then.”

“Paladins of Voltron and esteemed members of the Voltron Coalition,” says President Obama. “Meet Alfred Jones and Matthew Williams, the personifications of America and Canada, respectively.”

Alfred takes the table in. They look mostly human, save for the really tall purple lady with a gaze of steel. She, and three others with elf-life ears and markings on their faces give a little bow and greeting, while the kids in colored flight suits stare dumbly at them. His eyes travel to one wearing black and—

“What…d’you mean personification?” asks the one in yellow.

The President nods. “They’re immortals. The human manifestation of a nation’s existence. Is it? Will? Humanity? Identity?” he turns to Matthew who gives a little shrug.

“Something like it.”

“This…you’re America?” the one in green asks Alfred. “Like, all of it?”

“Is this not something customary for your species?” the one in pink asks her team mates. They answer with various degrees of bewilderment.

Same old, same old. “We’ll explain it quick,” Alfred says, “And then talk intergalactic war, because that’s probably a little more important,” and this is it. He’s gotta do this.

He smiles a little sheepish smile at the Black Paladin, who is now staring at him in open shock. And _gosh_ , Takashi’s changed so much – there’s a scar on his nose, his hair is starlight white, and his _arm is gone_ , Jesus what happened to him out there? His stomach swoops and –

“Adam?”

The expression on his handsome face is, well, not as anguished as Alfred thought, which is better than he’d hoped for. “Adam” might be blond and fair now, but that’s about it. He can’t really disguise himself well.

“Wait, _what?!_ ”

That’s Keith, oh Keith. One of the rising stars when he was still there. Takashi's duckling who isn’t a duckling anymore. So they both made it to the stars. An uproar ensures, because of course all these Garrison kids are gonna know his name. This is going to be a long afternoon, but a funny one. Alfred wants to laugh.

“Hey Takashi," he says, smile bright and free. "Welcome back.”

  
  
  



	2. the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY IS THERE MORE OF THIS THING  
> beats me
> 
> the sheith is implied and the tags have been updated!

Matthew had been texting him furiously all meeting. Alfred doesn’t even try to hide the fact he’s on is phone, because without the increasingly infuriated ex-boyfriend et al. right across the lovely lacquered table, he checks his phone anyway with “important nation business” as the usual excuse.

> **Mattie** : _THE_ Takashi Shirogane you did the super unnecessary drama break up on?
> 
> **Al** : pls don’t call it a drama break up. fine it was the drama break up
> 
> **Mattie** : Still telling you there was a better way to have handled that. Now look at how Keith Kogane’s looking at you.

Oh he knows how Keith Kogane is looking at him – jaw clenched and white knuckled, like there’s nothing more he’d want to do than deck Alfred right there, which he’s sure will happen anyway, after all the diplomacy is over. Alfred wants it to happen; it’s the least he deserves.

> **Al** : i know dude. there’s a billion ways i wish i could’ve handled that instead
> 
> **Mattie** : At least he doesn’t look mad.

Alfred takes one look at Takashi and knows Matthew’s wrong. He knows Takashi’s anger more than he wants to admit. The man has worn his emotions on his sleeve, sure, he’s been short tempered and snappy, but whereas other people’s anger is blazing fire, Takashi’s is cold, hard steel.

It’s got an even sharper edge to it now, forged by what could be only war, Alfred is 100% sure. It’s beautiful, deadly, and bittersweet. He’d never wish upon anyone to be part of a war, much less be the center of it, and these kids – _kids_ – have seen too much.

Alfred sends everyone an email with the subject line as their code for “urgent, please take this seriously” with nothing in the body but a single attachment – the Ancient Aliens meme – then a text to Kiku saying “Anime is real.” Matthew rolls his eyes as soon as he receives it and sends one of his own requesting international flight clearances for the Voltron Lions.

“I apologize if we can’t take more direct action right now,” the President is saying. “Earth is very big and there’s a lot of protocol to go through, but rest assured this is on NA level and all nations are to comply within the next 24 hours.”

“NA level?” asks Princess Allura.

“Nations Approved,” Obama III says, jabbing a good natured thumb at Alfred and Matthew. “Their word takes precedence above all else. I doubt we’re a match for the might of the Galra Empire but with Voltron on our side, we may stand a chance. Our military will do its best. You go do what you have to do.”

And there it is, the gravity of the situation sinking into these kids – that they have mobilized the armies of two hundred nations against an intergalactic enemy. And despite their current issues, Alfred calmly lifts his face to hold each of their gazes, letting the nature of his true self bleed out. Lance McClain sits up a little straighter. Hunk Garett swallows and does the same while Katie Holt laces and unlaces her fingers. Keith and Takashi remain unreadable, although break eye contact, seemingly unable to look at what their minds can’t comprehend for very long.

Then the stifling air is gone.

“In the meantime,” says the President. “Why don’t you join us for dinner? I’d love to hear more about your cultures.”

While the Royal Adviser Coran and Princess Allura move for the door, Miss Krolia – whom Alfred know knows is…a Galran rebel? Intelligence member? She still scares him a bit – places her hands on Keith’s shoulder with a questioning look (and gosh, they look alike.)

“With all due respect, Mr. President,” he says in a voice trembling with barely restrained anger. “I would like to talk with your adviser.”

Alfred braces himself. He gives Matthew a look, who gives Obama a look, who, in turn, shrugs. “Of course. I was a little surprised you knew each other, but take your time catching up.”

He begins conversation with a Coran who’s looking a little out of his element, but they’re soon talking enthusiastically, voices carrying down the hall. That’s all Alfred is able to note until a fist slams into his face.

“Keith!” Princess Allura yelps, lunging at him from the door only to be stopped by a stony-faced Lance. “Lance? What—we have just made this alliance! Stop this right now!”

Her horror’s well founded, but not necessary as Keith pulls back, breathing hard, but clearly done. _Fuck_ , this kid can pack a punch, Alfred thinks and runs his tongue behind his teeth, not surprised if any of them have been knocked lose. He can definitely taste blood.

“No worries, Princess Allura,” he says cheerfully and _wow_ talking hurts. “I’ve hurt Takashi before, and Keith is just giving me my due.”

From the corner of his eye, Matthew sighs and makes for the door himself, only to be roped into curious conversation by Katie and Hunk. Lance pulls Allura away, no doubt to tell her all about it. Keith turns to Krolia and follows them out, but not before raising a heavy eyebrow at Alfred.

“Well? Are you going to talk or do I have to punch you again?”

Alfred raises both arms in surrender, laughing a bit at his surprise that all of Keith’s anger seems to have faded. “No need. I’ll talk.”

The door of the conference hall shuts quietly behind them, and Alfred gathers his courage to face the steel of Takashi’s gaze.

Only to be met by a man barely holding back laughter.

“What?” he asks bewildered, and Takashi breaks – a bright, lovely sound that sends Alfred right back into the Garrison’s cramped dorms, the smell of boy sweat and laundry, of leather sim seats and desert dust on the hems of their uniforms.

“I always wondered why you looked unnaturally orange. I should’ve known it was a fake tan.”

“Hey, no dissing the tan. That was hard to pull off.” After a beat. “Don’t I look more dashing?”

Takashi smirks. “Blondes aren’t my type.”

“Ouch.”

The air turns a little awkward again, but they’ve moved toward each other in strange familiarity. “Um, is Keith…?”

Takashi flushes prettily, and that’s all the answer Alfred has to see. “He looks out for me.” It fades, and there’s a warmer, steady look in his eyes. “He found me. He's saved me more times than I can count. He’s done the impossible.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yup. I died.”

...what. “What.”

Takashi shrugs – _shrugs_ , off all the damn things – Alfred’s mind is reeling. “Lost my body. Vaporized, I think, in one of our encounters with Zarkon. My consciousness was trapped in the Black Lion, and Keith saved me. With Allura’s help. This body right now is a clone’s. Was one’s. My consciousness was transferred into it. It’s complicated.”

“…a clone?” The fuck-

Takashi bites his lip, as if hesitant to divulge good news, then smiles so big Alfred can hardly believe anything that’s happening right now. “Clean bill of health.”

His heart leaps to his throat. He takes all of Takashi in – the hair, the scars, the missing arm and understands what he’s gone through couldn’t have been anything but pain and suffering and yet – “Are you serious? That’s–”

“Weird,” he says, expression falling a little. “I’ll tell you, but...” Alfred comes under scrutiny of his gaze. And strangely, Alfred feels the age behind it, of something that’s touched the infinite, beyond the stars, a presence much older than him, than any of the nations, and he aches a little.

“You could’ve told me,” Takashi says softly.

“I’m sorry,” he says, pouring all the sincerity into his voice in the hopes it conveys his deep regret. “What I did was dumb. And shitty. I hurt you.”

“You did,” Takashi says without inflection, only a statement of fact. “But you knew it was never going to work out.”

“You wanted to get married,” Alfred says, hating how it kinda sounds like he’s reasoning when he shouldn’t. “I should’ve…broken it off better than I did.”

Takashi looks away, and Alfred’s heart sinks a little. The man needs to know, and it’s really not difficult to tell him.

“You are a brilliant pilot, back then and even more so now. You didn’t let your illness define you, or hold you back from fulfilling your dreams. I’m sorry if the things I said made you feel you shouldn’t do things, or that you were a burden. I…never saw you that way, I wish Adam hadn't needed to see you that way.”

Takashi’s looking at him again, eyes wide and overbright. Alfred continues.

“You are good, and strong, and whole, and healing. You’ve blasted through everything in your way. You’ve even overcome death itself. Takashi, you’ve become a much better man than you’d have been stuck here with me. I’m so so proud of you.”

He flushes adorably again, and says, “Okay, that’s weird.”

“Hmm?”

“Felt like my granddad was praising me.”

“I’m much older than your granddad.”

He laughs. “I think I get that now,” and after a pause, he asks. “Did…did you ever…?”

“Ever…?”

“Love me?”

Takashi looks so young, and Alfred closes his eyes against the image with a sigh. He can’t lie. “Not in the way you probably felt.”

He nods, satisfied with the answer, and stands. Alfred follows suit and is surprised when the man brings him into a one-armed hug, and _wow_ he hasn’t felt that muscle definition before.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says. “Alfred Jones.”

Alfred laughs. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

 

 

(President Barack Obama III raises his eyebrow at the ugly bruise on Alfred’s cheek when they enter the dining hall. “Shiro!” Keith calls out and Takashi—Shiro—immediately moves to sit beside him. Allura expresses her worries, to which Obama says it’s by far not the first time someone’s wanted to punch the personification of America in the face, to which Pidge laughs uproariously. “I never thought I’d be invited to have dinner in the White House,” says Lance. “Can I take pictures for my mom?” Hunk gushes to the aliens about Earth food, and everyone’s laughing over the faces they make.

For a moment, the Galra are far away, and things are right in the world.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of sleeping on a sunday night. whether or not that's worth it remains to be seen. _(:3 JL)_


End file.
